


Alone

by DistantStorm



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Grief, Post-Forsaken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 18:59:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17813669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistantStorm/pseuds/DistantStorm
Summary: "If you're here for a fight, I don't have it in me."





	Alone

Hardly anything in the Tower stays a secret for long. So just like everyone knows where her 'secret’ reading nook is, everyone knows that Ikora wanted to wage war over Cayde's death, but Zavala exerted his authority and refused.

Thus, everyone knows that just about everyone is unhappy - if not angry - with the Commander.

The Hunters are enraged, the Titans are quiet. The Warlocks are split between siding with their Vanguard, being so engrossed in their work they're out of the loop, and quiet agreement (though it's rare).

And Zavala is distrustful because Ikora has always fought dirty. They replay her greatest crucible matches often enough that it's no secret, either. It’s obvious that everyone is against him, that she can see. Even the ones who sit in quiet agreement with not going to war over Uldren murdering Cayde aren’t thrilled with his isolationist response either.

After all, even  _the Guardian_  is going against his wishes.

She hears the things they say.

_What kind of Fireteam leader doesn’t want to avenge one of his own?_

_He says his soldiers are his children, his Fireteam is his family, but yet he does NOTHING!_

_He’s a coward! Afraid to go to war when they took someone precious from us! Cayde was everything us Hunters stood for!_

It goes on, and on, and on.

And then, there’s Ikora.

_Zavala would cling to the broken pieces of the future he’s imagined until they turn to dust in his hands._

Hawthorne doesn’t claim to believe anyone is particularly blameless, she’s pushed her fair share of blame the Commander’s way. But she’s read enough about self-serving leaders, learned enough about the political climate - how much they’ve lost in the last war - to know that getting caught up in someone else’s war is not the move right now. Not because of this.

She’s not happy Cayde is dead. She didn’t particularly love him in the way the people all seem to (not that all of them did, before he bit the dust, either), but she is sad for the ones he’s left behind. However, Cayde was a Guardian. No one seems to remember that he ran off to help the Queen’s Wrath. He knew what he was doing, and he did it outside of proper channels. His death was a tragedy. A tragedy that is partially his own damn fault.

It keeps her silent when the Hunters ask her opinion, simply offering the comfort she can - an ear, a shoulder, a bounty to take their minds off it. She doesn’t share her opinion, not because it would turn them away from her, but because it’s not her place. It proves to her a truth she’s always known: they don’t know anything about her. They only know what they want to know: Zavala is the enemy because he said no to fighting everything that moves in the Reef. Ikora is cool for telling their top Guardian to go anyway, but also terrifying in her grief.

It’s late in the evening when she goes to command, having stopped trading completed bounties for gear. She passes a group of sour looking Hunters, their usually light-footed steps clunky and petulant. It’s an obvious indicator of who is also in command. She ignores them and continues on, not wishing to indulge them. Not that she has designated hours, but she’s decided that she’s off the clock and that’s the end of that.

Really, everyone is entitled to feel however they want, but even she - the literal outsider, the one who should be the least in-tune with social niceties - knows that it’s polite to keep your feelings to yourself in public. She walks silently into command.

Zavala is sitting at the head of the empty Vanguard table, head and shoulders bowed.

Somewhere in her chest, she feels a hard tug. He’s only a man, she thinks. Immortal or not.

She’d sat through the tense Consensus meeting that followed Cayde’s death. She watched him override Ikora publicly, using his power as acting head of the Consensus for the first - and hopefully only, he’d said - time, to stop her from encouraging them to go to war with Uldren Sov and the Reef. She wonders how no one else can see his emotions when he wears them on his sleeve. He’s angry, too. Lonely. Miserable. Grieving. How does no one else see that he makes the decisions he has to? She hated him for so long, and even she can see he’s just trying to save them from themselves.

He jolts when she takes a step that’s purposely loud enough to gain his attention. He straightens immediately, but does not turn around.

“If you are looking for a fight,” He says tiredly, having identified the movement behind him as belonging to a Hunter, “I don’t have it in me.”

“Good thing I’m not looking for one,” Hawthorne replies lightly enough, leaning over the chair beside him that Ikora would usually occupy. “You working on anything important?” She queries, pretending not to notice that there’s not a single thing in front of him, that he’s been lost in his thoughts and she’s well aware.

Zavala sighs. “There are several things I should be doing,” He admits.

“Sounds like you’re free then,” She says. “Which is good. I could use some company.”

His head whips around so fast she thinks he must have whiplash. “You?” He asks, clearly surprised. He clears his throat, and she wonders if he’s a touch embarrassed or just confused.

“Yeah,” She agrees. “Me.” She looks over at him. “Is that a dealbreaker?”

“No, but… why-?”

“You,” She finishes for him. Her eyes find his. “Why not you?” She crosses her arms. “Way I see it, you could use a friend right now.”

His azure gaze diverts when he realizes exactly what she’s doing. “Hawthorne, I appreciate it, but I’m fine.”

She scoffs. “No, you’re not.” His eyes dart back to her. “Everyone around here can feel however the hell they want, so here’s my take,” She pulls back Ikora’s chair and sits. “Ikora is being an asshole, and making things worse. I know you know what they’re saying. I know they’re alienating you, and it’s wrong.”

The commander’s tone is resigned. “I assure you, I’ve dealt with far worse.”

“Does that really matter?” Her eyes narrow and she shakes her head. “I don’t really care if it’s been worse for you before. You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.”

He does not answer, but he stays where he is. She can’t tell if he’s mulling it over, or letting that pit of grief he’s in swallow him whole. It doesn’t really matter, in the end, because she’s too stubborn not to get her way, she’s decided.

When he eventually comes back to himself, she quirks an eyebrow. “I’ll sit here all night if I have to.”

“For what?”

She ignores his question. “They might think you’re the bad guy, but you’re just trying to keep us safe.” She gives him the tiniest peek of a smile. “And regardless of what anyone says, you’re allowed to grieve.”

“Sometimes, I wonder how we were ever at odds,” He admits.

“Yeah,” She agrees. “I guess we all see what we want to see, huh?”

“What do you?” His shoulders raise in a half-hearted attempt at a shrug, “See, that is.”

“Right now? Someone who needs a good cup of tea and maybe a hug,” She says, cracking a smile at his astonished gaze. “Or, at the very least, maybe a long walk around the City and some idle chit-chat?”

He nods, as though he’s still thinking it through but is leaning toward agreement. “If you insist.”

“I do,” She says, matter-of-factly. “C’mon. Let’s go.”

-/

Hardly anything stays a secret in the Tower for long. The Hunters are livid with her. Even Ikora’s ire is turned her way. But they underestimate her. She’s never been afraid to do what’s right, no matter the consequences. It’s what landed her outside the City, what got her involved in the Red War, what made her agree to come back when all was said and done. It’s the same now, when she retrieves him in the evenings to sip tea and talk about nothing and everything and anything in-between. No one deserves to be alone.

They’re stronger together.

The Guardians and The Civilians.

The Vanguard and the Clans.

It goes for them, too.


End file.
